Hmmm

Wow, so, spur of the moment, I have a blog. I'm not even sure why I have one, or what I want to do with it. But now I have one. ;-) I'm rather intimidated by this whole blogging world, all these people with great thoughts and feelings and Rules and Opinions. I've lurked on some blogs for a while, and people, i.e. other bloggers are so mean! They can't stand differences of opinion or others not playing the game Their Way. So I'm not sure what to do, not sure what to say, a little bit scared of what the Big Wide World of the internet is goign to do to little me. But here I am.
I guess I'm writing this blog in part because of all the changes that have happened in my life lately. I'm trying to process that, trying to figure out what kind of girl I am. I have gone from an irresponsible undergrad literature major, with wonderful Roommate and blissful boyfriend, to Professional doctoral psychology student, unattached, living in a house full of girls whom I barely know. I've gone from Independent thinking, at my orthodox but oh-so-interesting Catholic undergrad, to Strict Evangelical in my I-don't-even-know-what grad school. I've gone from sunny Texas, to sunny California, but not even the sun is the same in those two states. I've gone from rich, warm, Southern culture, to cool, shallow SoCal, all in a matter of three months. I've gone from comfy, easy, and generally happy, to hard, frightening, and oh-so-lonely. So what will become of me now?
I decided to call this blog First Day of the Rest of my Life to try and reflect a sense of adventure about where my life is going. I, like Bilbo Baggins, am not terribly adventurous by nature. I would like to stay warm, comfortable, and generally happy forever. But then I would have whiled away my life instead of Living it. We'll see if titling my life actually works. ;-)
Most of all, this blog is written to you, Late Boyfriend that I love, altho now you must be dead to me. Ha! I'm looking at your picutre now, and the smile on your face, and thinking of the life we would have had together, and I Cannot give it up. So, for the moment, I won't. Instead, I'll write to you, as well as to the world in general, and tell you all the things you'll never read. After all, there's nothing like denial. ;-)