I got to go home to Texas this past weekend, to see my friends from undergrad (altho not my family, they live in a different city). I was a bit nervous going back, not sure how it was going to be. I've been a bit estranged from one of them for a while, in fact, and Roommate and I were staying with her in her apartment, so I wasn't sure how that was going to work out. Even beyond that, though, were more basic fears I always have when seeing someone I haven't seen in a while: Will I have changed, will they have changed, will they noticed I've gained weight (as usual), will they look different, will we still have anything in common, will there still be that connection? I need not have worried. If there's one thing my friends have shown me throughout these last few months, it's that they are my friends, and will be my friends, through thick and thin. In my struggles, they have truly shown their mettle.
But coupons.
Friend Michael, boyfriend of Roommate and my very good friend, made us a gorgeous after-church breakfast, complete with special-recipe coffee served from cast-off China cups. Afterwards, Roommate picked up the op/ed section of the paper, while Friend Michael thumbed through ads. You must understand that my Texas friends are pretty much all Catholic, very staunch, very devout, very conservative. Sometimes I want to kill them, but I love them anyway. So, when Roommate found an entire section regarding a rumored Vatican document addressing homosexuality in seminaries, the conversation went something like this:
R: So there's rumored to be a new Vatican document coming out soon saying that men with same-sex attractions will no longer be allowed in seminaries.
Me: Really??
FM: Do you want a coupon for Glade Plug-ins?
R: Yup, some people are really mad about it-
Me: Do you want biscuits dearie?
R: They say - what? ummm, yeah, biscuits - that it's discrimination because lustful thoughts of homosexual men aren't anymore sinful than lustful thoughts of heterosexual men.
Me: Yeah, that seems a little extreme to me, I mean, both homosexual and heterosexual men are going to have to deal with sexual issues if their entering a life of celibacy.
FM: How about Softsoap?
R: What do you think?
Me: Mmmm, yeah, I'll take Softsoap. Palmolive, darling?
R: What? Oh, no, you keep it. Of course the proponents are saying it will reduce homosexual enclaves in seminaries. FM, what do you think?
Me: Yeah, I'm kind of with them there, I mean, living with all those men they're attracted to it just seems like you're setting up the poor people for sin. What about brownie mix?
FM: You girls need feminine products?
Me: Ooooh, yes, good brand. Cover your ears, FM, but I can't stand the tampons with the blunt ends, they hurt.
R: You can't go cheap on pads, either, it's the worst. By the way, you use Dove deodorant, don't you darling? Michael, what do you think!?!?
FM: Well, I guess I don't see homosexual and heterosexual love as all that different. I mean, it's like what I did my thesis on in Plato: the Greeks had it wrong, all love is desire. And I should desire men just as I desire women, there are just different limits on those relationships. -Now, do you want a Tyson meat-kit thing, it's $1.50 off?
You know, it's not everyday you have a conversation that features Plato, feminine products, and money-saving tips. Or rather, it is everyday, if you have friends as glorious as mine. Alas, it is not everyday that I get to be with them. But then, it is not everyone that is this lucky, to experience such dorkiness and such love, all in the space of one half-hour.
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