Socialization

So, I went to a party tonight, like a good little girl.
Parties are soooo not my thing. To be precise, they scare the living crap out of me. So for me to go tonight . . . well, I was proud. And I even dressed-up. And I even danced (after being physically dragged onto the dance floor). I could tell you the horrible and humiliating history of my entire social life, but I'm in too good of a mood to debase myself right now, so we'll save that for another time. Instead, I'll tell you about my evening.
So, obviously, it was a Halloween party, given by people at school. I went over to a classmate's house this afternoon, and we got dressed together. She dressed as '70s girl,' and with her long, lithe figure and mini skirt, she looked Fantastic, like some sort of Austin Powers-esque Sex Goddess. (not that I've ever seen Austin Powers, but never mind.) I'm not quite so long and lithe. I did not have a mini skirt. I did not know that the theme of girls' costumes for the evening was Sex Goddess. Instead, I dressed as Emma from the novel by Jane Austen. A poor choice, really, as I'm currently feeling more like Anne Elliot from Persuasion, but never mind. I curled my naturally stick-like hair into tiny ringlets, and wore a beautiful Regency era dress made especially for me. I looked for all the world like Lizzy Bennet in the BBC's Pride and Prejudice, but alas I could not be Lizzy without my Mr. Darcy. You see, Late Boyfriend and I used to go as Lizzy and Mr. Darcy. He even bought the full Regency-era costume one time as a present to surprise me! (When I mentioned that to my roommate, she stopped washing dishes, looked at me with admiration, and said "What a guy." I couldn't agree more.) We were adorable. I could not be Lizzy tonight.
I actually had a good time at the party, even though I was forced to dance and was not a Sex Goddess. But I think one of the most poignant moments of the evening was watching my friend the Sex Goddess interact with her boyfriend. They were chatting with someone, but I was watching them from behind and I could see his hand making gentle strokes down the small of her back. I miss that hand! I miss that feeling of reassurance that someone is right there, someone literally 'has my back,' someone is watching out for me in love. How I long for that hand! That gentle touch of "it's ok, you can do it, I'm here!"
There's no need to be a Sex Goddess, when you have that hand.