Phone Calls

Today was a bit of a rough day.
I talked to my dad today about how I'm not coming home for the summer. There was a numb silence on the other end of the line. He had nothing to say. Neither did I. Deep down, we both know, it means I'd rather be somewhere else than home. And that hurts. I know it hurts, but I can't spend another summer there. I can't lie to them, and myself, and go back home, to hurt and be miserable. I just won't do it. But it hurts like hell for both of us to know that home is that awful. So we just sat in silence.
The plan is that Roommate will fly out to L.A. in May, after the end of the semester. Together, we will drive my car, full of my crap, from L.A. to Dallas. (Roadtrip!) There we will fulfill our duties as Bridesmaids/Acting Maids of Honor and see Semi-Estranged friend married. Then we will drive back to Louisiana and room together there, for one last summer of Us. Bliss!
All the more blissful because of the (not unexpected) news I received in another call I made today. Friend Michael revealed his definite intentions to marry Roommate, and, please don't misunderstand!, I am sooooo happy for them!!!!!!!! (This declaration has not actually taken place, mind you.) I know they will be so happy together, and I am so happy that they will make each other so happy. But now, of course, I must give up my girl forever. And this is as it should be. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Thus I must spend the summer with her.
Thus (and for many other reasons) I must not go home.
Thus I will make my father feel abandoned and unloved.

Don't even get me started on the conversation I had with my mother today! ;-)