Random Thoughts and Observations from a Thanksgiving At Home

1.) Honey is a Sweet Doggy.

2.) My brother, age 11, is, like, practically an adolescent. He has a peach-fuzz mustache! What the hell is going on?

3.) Sometimes there's just no point in trying to explain The Profession (i.e., psychology), espescially if people have already made up their mind as to what they think before you ever open your mouth.

4.) My aunt has a vulgar brother (whom we never talk about) that randomly showed up at Thanksgiving and said "whore" and "asshole" in front of the children, while talking about the mafia and showing off his knowledge of Texas history. Personally, I think he liked my breasts a bit too much.

5.) My mother is the most Indecisive Woman in the history of mankind. She painted hte dining room Three Times before deciding the third color was actually ok. I think my dad is going to kill her. After all, we're getting the house remodeled and she still hasn't decided on Tile or Wood for the family room. I shudder to think.

6.) I showed my Prowess as a shopper by finding a Gorgeous blue-and-white Ralph Lauren bedspread for $50. (The ugly cheap ones at Wal-mart cost $50 too and look like crap). I am very proud, and my mother is in awe. She hates to shop.

7.) I hate, Hate, HATE the game Risk. At least when playing it with my family. I swear to you, our familiy dynamics play out like nobody's business in that game. Mama and Daddy battle cruelly against each other, with plenty of stabbing comments along the way, while Michael tries despearately to form alliances with my father, who wants nothing to do with it becuase his only desire is to win (and beat my mother). In the end, Michael (with his mustache) ends up sobbing, my parents end up yelling at each other, and I end up Mad.

8). Does my father actually hear me when I tell him important things while I'm crying? I tend to think not, that he's just staring in horror as I gasp for breath and try to speak calmly, with tears falling down my face. I'm not sure how to remedy this situation, except to hope that maybe he really does hear more than it would appear.

9.) My mother is determined to send me to a dermatologist. Clearly, my skin is not good enough for her.

10.) Even worse than getting your period while away from home without one's preferred feminine products is when non-preferred feminine products leak, allowing blood to get all over one's new Christmas panties. Very sad.

Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one!
(Maybe someday I'll get around to posting the Juicy Details of my assertive and confronting holiday. I know you're on the edge of your seat. ;-))