Quickie

So, woohoo, my internet is working once again! (ComCast, you are evil.) Which is still a shoddy excuse for posting so infrequently, and no excuse for the fact that this post will simply be a quick smattering of thoughts, feelings, and observations.
First of all, I'm trying to ward off the Valentine's Day angst. In fact, I'm even relunctant to talk about it, because I've been doing such a good job of forgetting about it, and I don't want to jinx myself. So, I'll try to make this as innocuous as possible. When I was a little girl, my Mama was Great about Valentine's Day. We baked, we decorated, we got each other little presents, it was a Very Serious Holiday all about love! Of course, there was no such thing as romantic or sexual love in my house as a child, but this worked out rather well because then Valentine's could be about a more general love for friends and family. And it was so much fun! When the Christmas decoration went down on January 6 (Epiphany), the Valentine's Day decorations went up as a kind of consolation. Roommate and I used to decorate for Valentine's as well, but this year, due to unfortunate amounts of Housemate Drama, I decided Not decorating would be better. However, a word to the wise: don't loose all your Valentine's cards and thus have to go out and re-purchase them the night before, because, lemme tell you, all that's left are the ones that Suck.
Oooooh, Roommate Drama. I won't go into this too fully, except to say New Roommmate and Scary Roommate got into a fight about The Path Through The Crap in the Garage. Oh y'all . . .
I have just completed my second week Binge Free. I'm proud, and yet so scared, and feeling very ominously that there's No Way I can ever keep this up, that I can ever be really healthy and well, etc. I feel like I'm walking on thin ice, and if I step the wrong way, down I'll go.
Finally, a little upset, and little change in my summer plans. Nothing big, mind you, but for whatever reason it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm feeling a bit bummed, and feeling even more bummed because of why I am bummed: a lot of my emotion is simply about the root issue that when people get engaged, get married, etc., nothing is the same again. And nor should it be. The friendships must change because the couple must come together. But, to get hyper-dramatic and quote Galadriel "I must diminish and go into the West." Literally. I must accept the West as my home, at least for now, and I must slowly retreat, ever so slightly, from things I hold so dear.
And yes, I am speaking cryptically for a reason.
And yes, I think I am done.
And yes, I know this is all a bit crazy.