What Food Does for Me that I Cannot Do for Myself

So, in case you didn't notice the weird-sounding title, this isn't a subject I came up with. Nope, Fancy-Schmancy Nutritionist (with her other office in Beverly Hills) asked me to blog about this subject, so here we go:

*Disclaimer: I realize that at some point I will not need food to do these things for me. I am merely stating what I get food to do for me right now.*

1. Distraction! There's this Alanis Morisette song that talks about being 'petrified of silence,' and then the cd goes blank. For a few seconds, you have to face your fear of silence. Well, food's great because there's never a silent, empty moment! You can fill it up while you fill your stomach. Are you sad, scared, angry, or alone? Food is always there for you. Which leads to my next point:
2.Pushing Down the Pain: If an undesirable emotion should dare to raise it's ugly head, you can eat sometimg, and then immediately have something nice and comforting before you. It doesn't matter if you don't have any friends, because food, espescially sweets, are good for what ails you.
3. Rewards! Done anything good or difficult? Clearly, you deserve something sweet! This was instilled in me from a young age: according to Daddy, if you exercised, then you 'deserved' to have a cookie. Well, sometimes you do things that are a lot harder than exercising, and so, clearly, you need more than One cookie. Are you staying up late? Studying for exams? Are you having a really rough week? Here, have some ice cream, you deserve it.
4. Self-esteem boost: If I don't eat, then I am being a 'good little girl.' Ooooh, aren't I just so virtuous??? All I had for breakfast was a cup of coffee? Fabulous! Better that I had had nothing at all, of course, but still, doing pretty good. A Lean Cuisine for lunch? Excellent! I'm doing great. The problem, of course, is that I can't not-eat forever. Eventually I will have dinner, and then binge, and then feel like shit. But, for those daylight hours, I really am a good person because I am not eating food.
Allright, that's all for now, folks. This is a bit painful. But rest assured there's more to come.