You might be a Redneck if ...

So, Uncle Rico lives across the street. Admittedly, Uncle Rico is a little older, a little wiser, a little richer, but, hey!, it's been a couple years since he and Napoleon sold cheap tupperware, so he's moved up in the world. He finally gave up on football, gave up on that VW van, and moved himself on down to SoCal. Where he met other people just like him.
Uncle Rico has no need for the van. Now he has his own run down house, complete with a yard strewn with trash and old car parts, with plenty of space to fullfill his dreams: RV racing. Oh yes. His yard holds not one, but two vehicles up on cinder blocks (one of them being the RV), in addition to his four other vehicles, parked haphazardly on the lawn. When he gets home from work everday, complete with mechanic's uniform and embroidered name badge, Uncle Rico brushes his toupee-like hair, pulls off his shirt, and goes to work 'renovating' that RV, which he can't wait to go race in the desert with his buddies. Uncle Rico has no need to throw the football to get attention from the ladies, or anyone else. He just grabs a beer, shows off his (sagging) muscles, sends a lecherous glance towards the house full of hotties across the street, and works it on that RV. After all, what woman could resist that 70s hair style, or the hotness of an RV on cinderblocks? So, yes, Uncle Rico may still be a little "stuck in '82," but, make no mistake, all his wildest dreams are coming true, just like Pedro said.